We are in the process of sleep training John David. We are gluttons for punishment because prior to Thursday, when we started this process, he had been sleeping from 9:00 until 6:00 since he was little more than 2 month old and taking 2 one hour naps and one 2.5 to 3 hour nap in the afternoon. The reason behind this madness is that we are breaking his swaddle. He has always been a good sleeper and I am convinced that it is because of the swaddle. I hated to have to break him free from it because it truly loves it, but the time has come. Initially, we had made the decision that we would wait until he broke out on his own constantly but that changed when I came into his room twice after naps and found him on his side while still partially swaddled. That was my cue that the swaddle needed to go. I want him to have the freedom to be able to roll over at night and move around in his crib if he wants/needs, but more importantly, for safety reasons, I don't want him to actually roll over swaddled onto his tummy and suffocate because he can't raise his head up with his arms pinned at his side. That is pretty unlikely since he has such strong neck/head control but I am not going to test that theory.
So on Thursday I unwrapped him for the last time when he woke up in the morning and threw the swaddling blankets into the dirty clothes so I wouldn't be tempted. He refused to nap pretty much all day except for 2 short 20 minute naps. His startle reflex (the feeling you get when you are falling in a dream) kept waking him up and he could not calm himself down enough after he woke up to fall back asleep. I felt so awful for him because you could just see how tired he was when you looked in his eyes. That night we put him to bed at his usual time and tried the check and console method (go in and console/soothe him every time he cries while letting him cry progressively longer before going to him) which quieted him right down but as soon as we placed him back in his crib it was awake and couldn't settle himself back to sleep. That is when we realized that our soothing was preventing him from being able to self-soothe and fall back to sleep on his own. Since we know he is very capable of sleeping through the night we decided to let him cry it out. It was a very long night. He would cry for like 45 minutes to an hour before falling asleep for about the same duration but as the night progressed his duration of crying got shorter and his periods of sleep got longer.
Friday morning he was up at 5:30 and I didn't care I went in and got him 30 minutes earlier than usual. And while I was fairly certain that he didn't resent us for what we had put him through the night before it was so great to see him smile when I picked him up! That was my cue that we had to see this process through.
We are following Dr. Weissbluth's (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child) sleep training theory using the 'let cry method" because it produces the quickest results although it is certainly the most emotionally trying.
Naps did not go well again on Friday. He would only sleep for 20-30 minutes without crying. Dr. Weissbluth's recommendation for naps is a little different. For parents who are using the "let cry" method, he recommends putting baby in his crib for his nap sleepy but awake and letting him cry for up to one hour or until he falls asleep. If he wakes up after less than one hour of sleep let him cry for an addition 30 minutes (max) or the fraction of the hour that he didn't sleep (45 minute nap, 15 minutes of crying) because anything less than an hour is not a restorative nap. After that you are supposed to get him up and try again after an activity or at his next nap. For John David's long afternoon nap I put him down asleep and he slept for 25 minutes before I let him cry for 30 and finally went in and got him.
I decided to seek the advice of Meredith, my sister-in-law, as another avid swaddler, because she has gone through this twice, the second time being only a few months ago. I am so thankful for her support and advice. Meredith reassured me that we were doing the right thing and encouraged us that developing a sleep routine and stick to it for both naps and nighttime.
So last night we started our new routine which goes as follows: bath, PJs, feeding, sleep sack (like a blanket that zips-up but his arms are free), rocking while reading a book and 2 songs before placing him in his bed with his lovie (Dear Angel Monkey, "Mikey") and telling him goodnight and that we love him. We turn on his mobile, which he loves, and he can watch that while he falls asleep. It also has a 20 minute timer which is great! His nap routine is an abbreviated version since we wont be giving him multiple baths a day.
Last night we put him down, after his sleep routine, awake but sleepy (obviously he has hardly slept for 48 hours) at 8:00. He cried from 8:00 to 8:30 and then slept for 15 minutes, woke up for 5 minutes to cry and then slept until 6:50 this morning. I am so thankful because he is clearly starting to get the hang of this. Now I realize that he was extremely tried from the previous 48 hours so we are clearly not out of the woods yet but that was great progress.
I just put him down for his first nap and he cried for 5 minutes and is now laying quietly watching his mobile and holding on to Mikey. I am hopeful that he is close to drifting off but we will keep you posted. Stay tuned!
